Saturday, August 23, 2014

Beards and Beers

Wax on!
I took a brewery tour at Lagunitas Brewing in Petaluma, CA a while back. Awesome brewery and I highly recommend stopping there whenever you are cruising through NorCal. During the tour, the guide asked if anyone in the group was a brewer or homebrewer. No one raised their hand. I was busy with a taster, and truthfully, my homebrewing skills are nothing worth bragging about.

"Really? Because there's usually one or two in the group," continued our friendly, young host. "And they usually have big beards like this guy..." He was pointing at me.

I guess that's accurate. For whatever reason, growing and grooming massive amounts of facial hair seems to be de rigueur for brewers of the liquid bread. I certainly see a lot of shaggy gents working in breweries, that's for sure. Me? No, I'm not trying to make any kind of fashion statement. To tell you the truth, I'm just lazy. I hate shaving in the morning and my facial hair comes in so fast you can almost see it grow. Also, that bushy beard hides the pathetically weak chin that I inherited from my father's side of the family. Sad, but true.

So, perhaps we can surmise that brewers are either 1) fashionable, 2) lazy, or 3) they have pathetically weak chins. Hmmmm...

In any case, the connection between beards and beers came to an odd pinnacle earlier this year when Rogue Ales put out a beer brewed with yeast collected from the brewer's beard. What the f**k, you ask? Yeah, it's true. I reviewed Beard Beer in May. It was actually pretty good. However, I certainly hope this form of yeast collection doesn't become an expanding trend. Arnie's Armpit Ale? Paul's Pubic Porter? No thanks!

I found another unique and awesome beard/beer connection recently: a beard grooming aid made with hops! Lesher's Beard Balm can be found for $15.99 at This hop-infused beard conditioning balm comes in two different hop varieties: Citra and Cascade. I bought the Cascade. Great stuff. It smells grassy, earthy and is much more pleasant than some of the other scented beard conditioners and mustache waxes I have in my "collection". I highly recommend!

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