Saturday, July 26, 2014

A Beer By Any Other Name...

If the name fits...
I volunteered to help serve up beer at the Oregon Brewers Festival this week--the bestest beer festest in the Westest. Hey, it's still going on this weekend here in the beautiful Beertropolis of Portland, Oregon. (It's pronounced ORE-UH-GUN, by the way. Learn it, love it, live it.)

One thing that always impresses me, other than the vast array of amazing craft beer poured at OBF, is the endless number of tacky/wacky names the brewers come up with for their special Brew Fest brews. I actually think there should be a special award for the best original beer name. Seriously.

Unfortunately for me, I ended up serving a beer with one of those original names: Stone Brewing Company's "Witty Moron". I think you can imagine what happened. Every other person in my line would step up and say, "Are YOU the Witty Moron?" Can you also imagine what my reaction was after hearing that repeated ad nauseum for 4 1/2 hours? My...gawd...NO!

Toward the end of my shift, I just couldn't help myself. "Wow, you're HILARIOUS! That's the first time I've heard that today! Seriously, dude, YOU are the witty one!"

Anyway, here are some of my other favorite beer names from this year's Oregon Brewers Festival:

Heathen Brewing Company - Mega Dank
Collaborator - Czech'd Out Pils
Kell's Brew Pub - Billy Ray Citrus
Golden Valley Brewery - Young Franken Stein

Working on the "hop" theme:
13 Virtues Brewing Company - Hoptimal Results IIPA
Alaska Brewing Company - Hopothermia Double IPA
Fitger's Brewhouse - Hoppulujah IPA
Lucky Labrador Brewing Company - Hopperopolis

I'm just wondering when the "hop" themes will finally run dry. I mean, how many more variations could there be? Of course, what's in a name, really? The bottom line will always be whether or not the beer tastes good. That Witty Moron? Meh. It was kind of an odd brew--a "black wit"--thus the oxymoron that led to the name Witty Moron. I'm not a fan of the beer. I like my wits pale and appropriately spiced. Witty Moron was...not that. Give Stone points for being creative, but I can attest to the fact that their fans at OBF were mostly disappointed. A few kegs of Arrogant Bastard would have been much better received. Of course, then all I would have heard all day... "Are YOU the Arrogant Bastard?"