Thursday, December 5, 2013

Beer Guy PDX's Holiday Gift Guide

Okay, National Present Giving Day is rapidly approaching, so I'm not even going try to start this post with a feeble attempt at pretense. There's no time for that, and truthfully, I don't really care what you get the craft beer lover in your life for Christmas. This is all stuff that I want! Me! This is my personal wishlist. Hey, if I can give you some ideas about what to get your own beloved beer geek this year, awesome sauce, but I'm telling you right now, it's all about the Wolfmeister. If I don't see a few of these items in my stocking come Christmas morn, somebody is going to be sorry. Just sayin'.

First on the list is this nifty little item from ThinkGeek. Come on, folks! Who WOULDN'T want to pop the cap off a tasty craft beer in a zombie's eye socket? Cool! This is the officially-licensed Walking Dead Zombie Bottle Opener. It's constructed of solid metal and has a magnet on the back, so you can stow it on the fridge. Only $17.99!

How could anybody live without a Reclaimed Wood 6-Pack? I don't know, and if you don't either, I can tell you where to get one. CB2 will hook you up with this baby for only $39.95. Just imagine strolling up to the next bottle share with this redwood sixer filled with your own homebrew! (Overalls and old-timey beard not included.)

I like hops. Wait, who am I kidding, I LOVE hops. I also love a fine cigar now and again. (I know, I know, smoking is bad for you, blah, blah, blabbity blah.) Wouldn't it be awesome if somebody infused a cigar with the delicious flavor of hops? Hey, somebody has! And those smokes can be purchased at Ted's Cigars for $8.00 a piece.

Here's another awesome item from ThinkGeek. Das Horn Drinking Vessel has the look and feel of a real animal horn, just like the ones my ancient, pillaging ancestors used to quaff grog from, but it's actually plastic. That's right, no animals were wastefully destroyed to make Das Horn. Of course, we could get into the horrible environmental impact the manufacture of plastic has on the planet, but that's for another day. All you need to know is that I really want to be wearing this around my neck at the next Oregon Brewers Festival.

I use a Merkur 1904 Gillette Safety Razor for the closest, cheapest shaves ever. Those disposable razors are a gigantic rip-off! I also use a shaving mug and brush to whip up hot, foamy lather. It's the only way to go.  The best soap to use for that is beer soap made by...who else? The Beer Soap Co. They have a ton of different kinds of beer soap, all made with awesome craft beer. Most single bars cost about $7.

This is the last one and it is probably the geekiest, but I want one soooooo much! It's the Star Wars Ralph McQuarrie Darth Vader Castle Stein. Did you know Darth Vader has castle? Did you know he's a beer lover? I guess he has to drink it through a straw to get through his breath mask... Anyway, this lovely ceramic stein is available at ThinkGeek for the low, low price of only $74.99. What a steal!

Well, that's it. What an amazing array of beer-related gift ideas, huh? No beer can hats or cheesy bar signs on this blog, I'll let you know. This is a classy website. Finally, I must say that all of the images contained in this post were reproduced by direct link without any permission from anyone. If the owners of these images want me to unlink them, just say the word and I'll yank 'em. Merry Christmas!

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