Monday, June 15, 2015

The Beer Guy PDX Father's Day Gift Guide

It's Father's Day next Sunday, June 21. What are you getting your beer-loving pops on his "special" day? WA-WA-WAIT! DO NOT SAY TIE! DO NOT SAY TIE! IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT'S GOOD AND HOLY, DO! NOT! SAY! TIE! Phew, thank goodness you didn't say tie!

Hey, if you now suddenly find yourself completely clueless about what to get your dad for Father's Day, here are a few ideas from your good ol' buddy, Beer Guy PDX:

Check this out! It's the Ka-Bar Ka-Barley Bottle Opener!

I bet your dad doesn't have one of these! And if he does, your dad is a total badass! This bottle opener is made from extra-durable Grivory and resembles the leather washer handle of the classic Marine Ka-Bar.

What's even more awesome is the price! Only $6.98 on Amazon and FREE shipping if you have Amazon Prime!

Order one ASAP for delivery before Father's Day, by clicking HERE.


Did you ever wonder what kind of bottle opener Jules from Pulp Fiction would have mounted on the wall of his den? Me, too! All the time! Well, that question has finally been answered!

Behold the It's On, Motherf**kers Bottle Opener!

Imagine the little tear that will come into your dear father's eye when he opens this baby up during brunch at The Heathman. Grandma will love it, too!

This solid chunk of painted zinc alloy awesomeness is also available at Amazon for only $13.89 and with FREE Amazon Prime shipping! Did I mention that it comes with SCREWS? What a deal!

Click HERE for ordering info.

Is this not absolutely the most hideous beer stein in all of creation? Seriously, there isn't a beer drinking dad that I know who would not want the Attack on Titan Ceramic Beer Stein!

This incredible piece of kitschy pottery accurately depicts:

- That horrible moment when the Colossal Titan breaches Wall Maria 
- Forever immortalized in this ceramic beer stein
- Have a drink while you run for your life!
I have no idea what all that means, really, and I'm too lazy to google "Attack on Titan". I'm guessing it's some kind of video game or anime reference, since you'll find this thing ON SALE at ThinkGeek.com.

Only $6.24! That's a savings of over 75%! For an ugly-ass stein of some inside-out dude! Heck, I want one!

Order your proud pops an Attack on Titan Ceramic Beer Stein by clicking HERE!

Also available on ThinkGeek.com is something that I wish was a piece of standard office equipment at my job: The Beer Briefcase!

Oh my gawd! Why didn't anybody ever think of this before! I'm imagining myself strolling fashionably late into the next bottle share, tossing this baby onto the bar, watching everybody gasp when I click the twin combo-locks open ...a chorus of angels sings, a golden light illuminates my face from within, then the crowd oos and ahs as I pull out bottle after bottle of awesome craft beer...

Uh? What? Sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a minute. Where was I? Oh, yeah! The Beer Briefcase! It's only $39.99 at ThinkGeek. Click HERE for ordering information.

Does the beertender at your favorite bar have a problem putting a head on a beer? Do you hate saying something about it because, well, he's kind of big and scary and you're pretty sure he didn't get those prison tattoos out of a gumball machine in front of Fred Meyer? Yeah, me too.

Gratefully, there's a new invention that can instantly put a head back on any beer! Ain't science swell?

Check out the Sonic Foamer!

This little device can fit in a pocket and is powered by six AA batteries. Just imagine how impressed your dad's beer geek pals will be when he plops this Doc Brown-ish machine down on the bar and starts giving everybody...new foam atop their beers! Awesome!

You can order the Sonic Foamer for only $29.99 by clicking HERE.

2 comments:

  1. Well done, Wolf. Any dad any where wants this stuff. The beer stein looked like Charlie Hales explaining the road tax.

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    1. Haha, Friends of Hops! It DOES look like Charlie Hales!

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