Sunday, July 6, 2014

Anheuser-Busch (AB-InBev) - Budweiser

Did you know beer makes you smarter?
Why did I buy a Budweiser? My wife sent my down to the corner store to get her a Mexican Coke. It was hotter than Hades and we don't have air conditioning. I had every intention of buying myself a decent craft beer, but wouldn't you know it, I didn't bring along enough cash! What a loser!

The Bud tallboy was $1.99 and I had just enough for that and the Coke. What the hell, it was COLD and if I didn't bring the Coke home, I was a dead man. The elderly lady behind the counter gave me a pitiful shake of the head when I made the purchase. I could almost read her mind..."What a loser!"

The beer poured from can into my pilsner glass a clear, light, straw yellow color with a fizzy white head. The head rose up to a finger thick and dissipated very quickly. No lacing was left behind, but there was plenty of pinpoint bubbles rising up from the bottom of the glass. In fact, there was a brief, swirling tornado of carbonation. Interesting.

Aroma was practically non-existent. Maybe some light grain. Smelled a little bit like rice cooking when I stuck my nose right down in the glass.

Taste? Really not much flavor, either. Light grain. Rice and corn. Very watery. It didn't taste awful. No BAD flavors--just no flavors. No malt. No hops.

Thin mouthfeel. Tons of carbonation. Like beer-flavored soda pop. No aftertaste. No alcohol detected.

Overall, it's about as easy to drink as water. Ice cold it was certainly refreshing on a hot, hot day. Certainly not horrible and I'd probably pick a Bud over most other macro-brewed adjunct lagers out there. No off-putting flavors to speak of. Certainly cheap.

I know most beer snobs would rail on and on about the inherent crappiness of Budweiser--it is the antithesis of craft beer, or perhaps even the nemesis of craft beer--but it is the best selling beer in the world. There must be a reason for that. My theory is that Budweiser is so popular because of the predictable quality. It's not an amazing beer by any stretch of the imagination, but it always tastes the same--EVERYWHERE. People like consistency and predictability, even if the overall drinking experience is mediocre. Budweiser has that mediocre consistency DOWN. The stuff is never excellent, but it's never terrible. You can order a Budweiser in St. Louis, Toronto or Cebu City and it will always taste the same. Not many other brewers can match that quality standard.

I'm giving Budweiser the coveted "Golden Turd" award. It's a beer that's so bad, it's good!


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