Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Anheuser-Busch - Bud Light Platinum

(blech)
When I was picking up my bag o' beers for reviewing this week, I found a single of Bud Light Platinum in the cold case mixed in with the craft beers. Just for sh*ts and giggles, I decided to buy it, try it and review it.

The 12 oz. bottle cost me $1.99. It was also a brilliant blue color. Wow. I noticed that the label isn't screened onto the bottle--it's a sticker. That's classy. ABV was noted to be 6%. The cap is, of course, a screw-off. No need for a churchkey with this brew. No siree.

Okay, this is almost too easy. I swear I'm going to try my best to remain objective here. Must... control... urge... to... snark.

The beer poured into my shaker pint a pale, clear yellow color. When I held it up to the light, I could see right through it! The extremely fizzy, white head barely made it up to a 1/4 inch tall and very quickly disappeared. Seriously, as you can see from the photo, the head vanished before I could get my camera fired up. Zero, zilch, nada lacing was left behind.

Smell was sour, grainy, corny horribleness. My nose did not want to linger over the rim of that glass for very long. No hops detected. Honestly, the stuff smelled very much like an old, mildewed dishrag.

Taste was like a malt soda mixed with rubbing alcohol. People really drink this crap? Seriously? I took two sips, held my nose, and tried to chug it down. I couldn't do it. I spit it out and poured the rest down the kitchen sink. It fizzed quite loudly on it's way down the drain--almost like a demon hissing at me.

Mouthfeel was thin and the carbonation was as fizzy as a Mountain Dew.

Bud Light Platinum did not surprise me, I'll give 'em that. It was every bit as terrible as I thought it would be. It's pure swill. I'm giving this beer (in name only) a BeerGuyPDX rating of a 1/2 crushed can. That's the worst rating anything can get on this lil' ol' blog. Now, excuse me while I go drink some Listerine to get the taste of this crap out of my mouth.

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